Category: Comic Geekery

Comic Book Geek Extravaganza Giveaway

img_8588-3

We know I love comics. I mean LOVE comics. I thought, what better way to reward the geeks who follow me than share my love of comics. This giveaway features a little of everything Marvel and DC geek. The contest is International and ends on November 30th at 7:00PM. I’ll announce the winner via the blog and Facebook so keep checking back!

Included in the giveaway:

  • Justice League of America: New World Order, 2004
  • The Secret Defenders (#1-#4), 1993
  • Civil War Funko Pop Vinyls
  • Avengers Tattoos
  • Marvel Mystery Mini Bag
  • DC Mystery Mighty Mini

 

This Raffle has Ended


Quick Robin, To the Comic Store

October 29th went in the books as the first day I sold books at an actual comic book store. A few months ago, the folks at The One Stop Shop started carrying Nighthawks. Well, after some discussion I got asked if I’d be interested in attending Comicfest, the October version of “Free Comic Book Day.” I said sure, why not?

I spent the day talking comics and video games with the locals. I imagined I was Kevin Smith on the set of Comicbook Men. Once the Batman onesie appeared, things just got weird. My cheeks still hurt from laughing so hard. The site of a bearded Batman running down the street screaming, “In the name of Justice!” was enough to stop traffic and nearly cause an accident.

Nope. No dull days in the life of a writer!


Back to Where It Started

He’s going to kill me. I’m going to die from a nib penned thrust into my jugular. But it’ll be worth it. Technically this is the first “fan art” created for the Children of Nostradamus series. These illustrations were created by the very man who used to join me at the dining room table and give life to a world filled with superheroes. While I penned the dialogue and created the stories, Nick Leonard created the visuals. We were Jerry Siegal and Joe Shuster, Chris Claremont and Len Wein, Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell. The dreams of a seventh grader evolve, but sitting at that table is where it all started.

While the Nighthawks has been turned into a novel, it had a very different origin. The character names and powers may be the same, we had a much more expansive cast than what I’ve introduced at this point. The memories are fuzzy and not all of this might be accurate, but I’ll see what I can recall.

Vanessa, the character drawn above was never meant to be human. Her telepathy and wings are part of her alien species. A rogue from another planet, she was one of the few people who knew Earth was being overrun by her race. She led the Nighthawks, which wasn’t the name of the team at this point, but the actual name eludes me.

Prism, an original creation by Nick. A character composed of almost liquid metal who could reflect light and focus it into lasers. Part of a team which also included a character named after King Midas whose touch changed any object’s molecular makeup turning it to gold.

Magus, the Doctor Strange of our universe. His abilities focus on magic and suffered from visions of demons seeking to take over the world. He would later be the love interest of Jasmine, a militant woman with metal skin.

Our world imitated the stage set by Marvel Comics, but we tended to focus on darker storylines and favoring Chris Claremont’s saga style of storytelling. Life hadn’t provided the experience necessary to create a story of depth, but we did practice and imitate. Now, a dark world set in the future is being constructed based on these youthful ramblings.

Now that the world has been built, and the stories are being told, the only question is, “What’s next?” There are plans to continue in this world for a long time to come.


What On God’s Green Earth Went Wrong?

green-lantern-movie-poster-banner-corps-mtv-brandedDisclaimer: Rewatching this movie, I fell asleep part way. Multiple times.

Relationship: We know my affinity for Marvel, but if DC has produced anything to rival my dedication to mutants, its Green Lantern. Contained in a tiny object, a man is given ring with the ability to create anything he can imagine, and only his willpower can sustain these creations. My knowledge of the mythos is scarce, but the many incarnations of this protector of the sector has captivated me.

Ryan Reynolds however, did not.

Review: I am glad I watched this movie again. The ratings decimated any hope of this becoming a franchise opener, but I may actually defend Ryan Reynolds. From Wolverine to Green Lantern, I thought Reynolds would be the actor to kill any superhero movie. His halfwit humor, bad puns, and annoying chipper half-smile seemed to spell certain doom for his career. If Ryan’s abs can’t save a movie, then really, what chance did he have? But Deadpool showed us, he isn’t a bad actor, but he can only act within the limitations given to him. Green Lantern must have set a lot of limitations.

“Ryry, you did a great job with that take, I lol’d. Let’s try it again and less lol and try it more laugh out inside.”

“Ryry, your abs are looking fabulous. This time, can you have more of a blank look on your face? Like you’re at a spelling bee and asked to spell quiche.”

“Ryry, did you just ask for motivation? Does your paycheck need more 0’s?”

“Ryry, put your shirt on. Your abs aren’t abby enough. We’ll fix that in post production.”

We spend the first part of the film trying to prove he has no fear. If we haven’t figured out from his flight abilities, every character makes references toward his bravado. They chide him for it. They worship him for it. It’s literally beaten into us. Then when he winds up on Oa with the other Lanterns, he does everything but throw a hissy fit. I think he threatens to quit? I fell asleep. The special effects were so outlandish I figure I’d wake up when something exploded later.

I wake up to some bad puns about his mask.

galactus_vs_parallaxThis movie suffers from the superhero pitfall of needing too many enemies and then splitting film time between them. When you have an entire planet full of amazing looking aliens, we spend more time with a crazed scientist with a severe receding hairline. I fell asleep again, but I think he got beaten. I mean, I assume he did? Did it really matter? And then there is Parallax, the bad guy only beatable by the most valiant Lantern. The baddie even manages to smoke a whole squad of the most elite Lanterns. Don’t worry, Ryry has no fear, so he’ll be safe and capable of stopping Galact….I mean Parallax. But no worries, the guy who just picked up the ring happens to be able to master these new abilities without even the slightest of montages! I can’t believe he’s this capable without a montage, has nobody ever seen a superhero movie?

green_lantern_trailer_101117_vidimSo the script, yeah, a third grader with refrigerator magnets could have come up with a more convincing script. So let’s talk about the giant, green, rippling, elephant in the room. Never have I been so flabbergasted by the horrible use of CGI as I was in this movie. I would have been happier if they just slapped him in spandex and hung him from the end of the rope. But okay, they wanted to have no limitations so the CGI was used to show the powers of the ring. So, you can imagine anything, and this is what you come up with? A race car? A sword? A machine gun? And somehow you manage to beat the most dangerous evil in the universe? I started rooting for the villain. At least his scary cloud looked like it might be hard to breathe in? Perhaps it could win with lung cancer. But even with an amazing post-credit scene promising us the villain we really wanted, the franchise died. Dead. Like really dead.

So yeah. I went to bed after that. That was the most exciting part of the night!

Grade:
Plot – D-
Script – D-
SFX – C
Comicness – C


Catwoman: Not the Sexy Cat Lady You Hoped For

cat1vRelationship: I’ve never read a Catwoman comic and even my knowledge of the Batman universe mostly relies on the movies or animated works more than the comics.

Synopsis: A poor, weak, reserved Selina Kyl….I mean Patience Phillips, is killed after discovering the negative effects of a skin beauty cream. Then she beats the snot out of Sharon Stone in a lesbian fantasy of skin-tight leathery proportions. Yup folks, that’s the whole plot. Sexy hot actress versus the beauty cream industry. Revlon versus Dior.

Review: I had avoided this film mostly because…well…it’s rated as one of the worst movies of all time. But because of you, my loyal readers, I was willing to trudge through the bowels of movie hell and confirm that Halle Berry is indeed one of the worst actresses of all time. I like to compare every comic book movie to Batman v. Superman, one of my least favor films, but thanks to Catwoman, I know a low so pitiful it has restored my faith in BvS.

Why? Why would you do this to a fictional character? What did they do to deserve this? Did Catwoman break up your marriage? Did Eartha Kitt scare your children with her ability to roll her R’s? Did Halle Berry once shit in a bag and leave it flaming on your doorstep? Are you making good on a bet you lost in second grade? Cause I think all of the above are true.

When Patience dies and comes back, some dingy cat near a sewer outlet steps onto Berry’s chest and breathes some rank green mist into her mouth. It causes some minor schizophrenia and in a single breath, teaches her martial arts (and the ability to use a whip of course.) So I’ll suspend disbelief. Disbelief that Halle Berry can fight, that she can balance on the back of her couch, and that she can climb walls while wearing high heels. I however, can not, under no circumstances, believe this woman is a talented graphic designer. You lost me Warner Brothers. Where’s Batman Forever, I need something believable to watch.

catwoman-movie-wallpaper-2

So, she’s possessed by a cat spirit from Egypt, you know, the birth place of modern martial arts. She get’s a bit wild after a crazy cat lady throws down some insane back story. Because I would instinctually believe woman housing twenty plus cats. But it’s okay, because she sews herself a superhero costume (notice the many tears, because Halle Berry has mad sewing skills) and she goes to work fighting crime. Against herself. Somewhere in the plot she remembers the evil makeup company and decides to beat them up. There are great lines such as…and…oh yeah, the movie on mute would get a better grade.

But love story aside (because I’ve already forgotten the name of the character and the actor who played him) there is a great woman-on-woman scene at the end. Sharon Stone, who is overly depressed because she’s old wants to slap Catwoman and possibly needs to have a pillow fight while doing each other’s hair. Somehow the evil makeup has made her a super villain which she graciously explains to us during the middle of the girl fight. Catwoman goes all CGI on her ass and somehow wins the day.

Halle Berry’s acting isn’t the worst part of the movie. The ongoing attempts to make a cat-like woman who moves in the same manner as a cat is almost as ridiculous as Sabertooth during the first X-Men movie. She goes from actress to animated over and over again, her spine bending in ways that would crush her body. I wonder if they just cut parts out of the video game and tossed them into the movie.

In the iconic words of Halle Berry, Catwoman herself, “I want to thank Warner Brothers. Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit, god-awful movie… It was just what my career needed.” I’m sending her a gift basket to make her feel better.

Gift Basket

Grade:
Plot – F
Script – F
SFX – D-/F
Comicness – D


%d bloggers like this: